Why do we think that being vulnerable means that we will be perceived as weak? We are infamous for repeating that dreaded sentence…. “I am fine”. In fact, we are everything but fine. We are overwhelmed, we are fed up, we are battling the bulge, or simply battling ourselves. We are our own worst enemy.
I am guilty of saying “I am fine”, “everything is ok”, or “nothing is wrong”. Sometimes I say it like a tape recorder on repeat. It always comes down to the fact that if I admit I need support it instantly makes me feel as though I am being needy, or failing to be the wonder woman I want to be. Me, sick? What are you talking about! Of course I do it all!
Seriously, it is a problem.
The truth is that we need to allow ourselves to be vulnerable, and to ask for help. Instead of shutting our friends out, we should be reaching out to them. Sometimes, it takes a hell of a lot more courage to admit that you need help. It has been amazing to see the reactions when I finally admitted I needed some support. I finally admitted that I wasn’t up to par, and that I was struggling. And, like a collective sigh, my friends all reacted with the same abundant shouts of “me too!!”. Apparently, we are all grappling in silence, when in fact we really need to grab hands and pull each other out of our collective muck. We all needed to hear that someone else was NOT “just fine”. We needed the permission to say that things suck.
What a relief. What a huge monkey off my back (that monkey sometimes felt like a gorilla!). So, here is my plan. I will ask for help. I will tell my inner Wonder Woman to shut the hell up and give me a break. I will give myself time to heal, and get healthy.
I will officially take the word “fine” out of my vocabulary.